Seeking Answers from Others

Why do we want to be told what to do? 

This is a question that has stood out for me recently, both personally and professionally.  I personally began the journey of reprogramming the belief that I need approval and validation from others, especially my mother, about six years ago.  It has not been easy to release this belief and create a new mindset but I will say it has definitely brought me more ease, as I’ve progressed.  Professionally, several coaching clients have come to me wanting me to tell them what to do.  Through holding sacred space, deeply listening with empathy and sharing what I witness in our sessions, in every situation they already know what they need to do.  I am always happy to share any of my knowledge but my real role is to guide and support my clients to connect to, make decisions and create goals aligned with their inner knowing.

You do know!  We all know!

I’ve recently completed Reiki I and II and am now a Reiki practitioner.  The primary underlying foundation of Reiki is to connect to our True Inner Selves.  I have been meditating on this daily and have noticed that for me, and I am soo grateful to say, when I do look within there is absolutely nothing wrong.  I am happy, healthy, at peace and safe.  What more do we really need?

At times I find myself stressing about my to-do list… “things I don’t have, things I need to do, what this person is thinking, why is this happening, I should have this, I should be doing this…”  which leads me away from what I actually want to be doing and how I want to be showing up in the world and connecting with others.

I notice that I create and cause stress for myself, it is a horrible habit from growing up in the USA.  If you are not busy, if you are not needed, if you are not doing this or that, etc…  then we are not OK?  If you think about it - why is that?

We are trying to busy ourselves with anything other than ourselves and this is due to some deep societal programming.  Society has taught us to look outside of ourselves for joy and comfort, it wants us to look to shopping, video games or sex.  It takes consistent work and effort to transmute this programming and allow ourselves to be and to trust.

Other reasons we may seek answers, validation and approval from others are FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real), projection and insecurity.  When we are not coming from an aligned place and feeling insecure about our choices, it may be easier to project our insecurities onto others because we know the actions we are taking are not actually what we want to be doing.  It is easier to push our frustrations onto others.

As a person that has needed approval and validation from others for many years, I promise you, you will feel so much better when you assure yourself that you can trust your own decisions and live a life of peace, knowing that even if something does go wrong you can handle it on your own, learn and evolve.  Trust me: It will all be ok.

In coaching with me, I can guide you to release fear, evolve the belief systems and patterns that aren’t working for you, create appropriate boundaries and connect to your true inner self. You can learn more about Spiritual Life Coaching by booking a free intro call with me.

Trust yourself.